I’m out for the weekend — visiting the husband and trying to finalize our plans for relocation. During my absence, I’d like to play a game.
- As an HR professional, I would like you to think of the most inappropriate song that you could sing at an employer-sponsored karaoke event.
Seriously, put some thought into this. You could sing I’m Too Sexy, but that’s almost tame and adorable. You are too sexy, and everyone would giggle. I want to know what song would be totally & completely inappropriate? What song might get you fired from your HR job?
The winner will receive a $25 gift card to Starbucks, yo.
Here’s my submission.
I can’t really win the contest because I am the sponsor, but I can’t resist faux-snarling to Romeo Void.
Laurie Ruettimann: Team Building is for Suckers and Punk Rock HR is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
Can I submit two entries? I’m excited about this. I guess I’ll go with:
Ludacris – What’s Your Fantasy (not the radio edit)
This is fun. Though you would never find this song in a karaoke venue, in the true name of punk rock:
Orgasm Addict by the Buzzcocks
(I hope this doesn’t bring more spam to your website).
me so horny 2 live crew
closer (i want to F you like an animal) by nine inch nails
“I Touch Myself”, the Divinyls.
“Take this Job & Shove It”…I think it was by Johnny Paycheck (an ironic name if there ever was one).
MadCap – I hate the man
At first I immediately thought of “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy” by Rod Stewart, but these days it might actually be seen as funny. Then I was going to say “Lollipop” by Lil Wayne. But oh my…
Can we call Lil’ Kim in for the most “ZOMG, did she ACTUALLY sing THAT?! FIRED!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPWmcWS5PvQ (Warning: NOT for kids. NOT, NOT, NOT.)
But I admit it’s kinda fun to sing… But not at work. How about, um, John Denver at work. Yeah, “Leavin’ On a Jet Plane” is more our office’s speed.
Carrie in HR @ a Michigan University
My submission is the early 90’s song from Divinyls… “I Touch Myself”
Ooooooh, tough one… I’d like to submit more than one, too!
Since I have to choose, I’d have to go for the explicit version of “How many licks” by Lil Kim. With panting, faux orgasm and writhing on the stage.
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZtifGayo0o – the video is just WRONG, but it was the only explicit version of the song I could find)
Laurie I couldn’t think of any appropriate Daddy Yankee, so I’m going with a classic:
Ice-T: L.G.B.N.A.F.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwqgYtSXc4s
Karin, great pic! I love that song.
I cant see the video becasue of fire walls.
I going with “Take this Job and Shove it” All the while singing 6 inches from your bosses face.
Geez, there’s so many choices in the pool. I would think the song had to be very serious. If it was fun, everyone will giggle and you go for the ride. If I have one song:
Alice in Chains – “Bleed the Freak”
I’m going to opt for mimicing a specific version of a song “Volare”, but in the style of Newbomb Turk (Robert Wuhl) in the film Hollywood Knights. On equal footing, I would also have to add McArthur Park, because anyone that would sing that deserves to be fired.
How about a little Marvin Gaye? “Sexual Healing” or “Let’s Get It On”…
Has to be “Give a little Love” by Nookie
http://3ruce.com/blog/category/music-and-mixes/
Don’t ask me why!
It might help if I get the url right!
http://3ruce.com/blog/2008/05/06/give-a-little-love/
Or… really brighten the mood with something from Noisia and Teebee, via Sin City (apparently!)
My all time scarey song is “Crazy Bitch” by BuckCherry…Their album went plantinum in 05 – titled “Fifteen” because of a song called SORRY that was a top 40 hit and is covered by everyone who can sing a ballad. CRAZY BITCH is a totally underground hit because of it suggestive lyrics of what the Crazy B!#ch is going to do to you…I can’t clip from You tube…but check it out (the x-rated version), a lock to win the coffee with this one!
You will get fired after the first vers unless your attached to a pole with high heels and little else!!!
For your consideration: GG Allin “Suck my Ass (It Smells)”
Lyrics (to be screamed as loud as possible):
Suck my ass it smells
(sung six times)
Words by GG Allin
recorded by GG Allin & Bulge (1988)
It’s short, to the point, and 100% anarchist punk rock.
Business Time by Flight of the Conchordes… If you haven’t heard it or seen the video… here is the link:
Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust”….but only if it’s smack in the middle of a RIF!
Oh, there are so many, but “Come Again” by the Au Pairs, a little diddy about faking orgasms.
Enjoy thier performance from the film, URGH, A MUSIC WAR
Baby Got Back!!! Sir Mix a Lot, of course.
DMX – What’s My Name
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/dmx/whatsmyname.html
Lyrics very NSFW
Cake>”Shut the F*** Up!”
I would like to resubmit.
Chocolate Salty Balls is my new submission.
http://www.metrolyrics.com/chocolate-salty-balls-lyrics-south-park.html
“I wanna F you like an animal” or “I wanna sex you up”
although my favorite would be “Pretty fly for a white guy”
I just thinking having an employer sponsored karaoke event is inappropriate onto itself
Who wants to see the CEO getting up there singing to a song such as “Shake Your Money Maker” – good lord! My eyes would have to be stabbed with forks!
BUT – if you were looking to be fired – you could do a version of “F-ck the Police” and sub out the word police to people withing your company…..just a thought.
Do I get any extra points for actually having SEEN Romeo Void when they played at Trax in East Detroit all those years ago??
I vote for XTC – could be Ball and Chain or Love on Farmboy’s Wages.
Runners up would be the Who – Won’t Get Fooled Again or Who Are You?
HRM
“Kiss You All Over” by the Rolling Stones.
It kills me that with the way music is today there are SO many horribly innapropriate songs to choose from with no problem what-so-ever!
(By the way I saw Romeo Void in concert, opening for Cyndi Lauper !!!!)
Okay, I’m embarrassed to even be typing this (or admitting that I know these songs), but:
“My Neck, My Back” by Khia (google the lyrics and you’ll see why this should win)
or
“She swallowed it” by NWA
Now I have to skulk off in shame.
What a truly naughty, clever idea! If I get fired for posting this, Laurie you have to promise to hire me as your personal assistant. Though I may want to work remote! =)
The Bad Touch, by the Bloodhound Gang! =)
Gotta be “Cheer up you miserable f**k” by David Ford.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pSyuo2UL5Q
Terry
Okay, I actually *saw* the HR director (who was a man of color) and seven of his white colleagues sing “Play That Funky Music White Boy” at a retreat. And I personally led a group of colleagues in singing “Super Freak”…a song I had actually done with my band in true punk-rock style. It’s funny how you don’t consider the impact that lyrics like “I really like to taste her/every time we meet” are going to have on a room full of your peers and superiors until you’re rolling through that chorus the third time in front of them, knowing you’ve got to do it at least one more time! Good times…good times…
Shame on you all, this is absolutely disgusting!
And especially you, Alison, I would never have thought that…
Okay, my turn now! My turn!
This is Punk Rock HR, so the obvious choice is:
Guns n’Roses – I don’t care about you
(I think the original was by Fear)
la la la…
I Don’t Care About You – FUCK YOU!
la la la…
Janie’s Got a Gun.
Alright, here are two. Both are wildly inappropriate.
2 Live Crew – Face down, a** up
Insane Clown Posse – F*** the world
Just a warning – Don’t look them up if you don’ want to be offended.
I don’t have a song to submit, however, I do have a story:
I once worked for a company that had management retreats. At one of the retreats, the C-suite dressed up like AC/DC and sang A Whole Lotta Rosie, Big Balls and other such non-office-PC tunes. I didn’t get to see it, but I heard ALL about it. I bet it was awesome!
BTW, I forgot to post my office karaoke party story:
At the company Christmas party two or so years ago the planning committee decided to loosen everything up and have a karaoke contest. There is nothing worse than seeing the two managing partners gyrating their hips and humping the microphone to Tom Jones’ “Sex Bomb”. *headshake*
My best (office) friend and I decided to give it a go (after about 5 Glühweins (German hot spiced wine)) – she went with “Stand by me” by Ben E. King and I put on felt reindeer antlers and belted out “Grandma got run over by a reindeer” (it’s a German/British office, so almost nobody knew the song). Good times!
Ah, pretty much anything by Peaches. I mean c’mon. Anyone remember the tune from the stripper scene in Lost in Translation, “Fuck The Pain Away”??? Yeah, her. Anyone who can name her CDs “Fatherfucker” and “Impeach My Bush” is sure to be a big HR-offender.
I couldn’t find a real Peaches video for the tune on YouTube, but I did find this gem:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4yndU6NqUE
Oh, and I have a funny story about Peaches. A couple of years ago I used to work at a Catholic University, and I used to stream internet music in my office all day long (working at a Catcholic University can be pretty booooooring if you’re an aging indie/punk rock/hipster girl like me, so you do anything to keep work interesting). Anyway, Sister Marcia, my boss, would ALWAYS walk into my office whenever I happened to be playing Peaches. Never failed. It was always so embarassing. Luckily Sister Marcia was very understanding and would say things like, “oh, you DO listen to the most interesting music!” but I always knew she was probably running back to her adjacent office to pray for my soul.
Nowadays I work at a design firm so crazy music is blasted through our speakers, 24/7. We tend NOT to play Peaches when clients are in the office, although I have a sneaking suspicion that some of them might find it, uh, “refreshing” if we did.
Hi laurie, here is my real contest entry
The Tubes – Don’t touch me there…….
http://humanracehorses.blogspot.com/2008/09/inappropriate-music-for-office.html
I’m going to have to go with…Rape Me by Nirvana. Yup. That would do it.
I think People=Shit by Slipknot would make it.
Check this out for music and lyrics : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91kb7HYhoSc
How about the incomprable Tenacious D’s F Her Gently. Inappropriate, but such a nice tune.
You would look absolutely absurd singing some old Crass song i guess
Kind of old, but Touch It by Monifah.
Me So Horny by 2 Live Crew.
I guess Type O Negative’s “Kill You Tonight” would be too simple, eh?
Hatred obsessing me
Hatred possessing me
Anger burning me
Anger turning me
Into someone I don’t know
Rage that’s shaking me
Rage that’s making me
Into someone I don’t know
I’ll kill you tonight
Yeah I’ll kill you tonight