Human Resources is for Suckers.
I hate it when corporate colleagues ask, “Could you do me a flavor?”
For reals, buddy? That’s so annoying.
I can’t post anything on my blog as I continue with Day 2 of my relocation — but I can read comments. Please do me a flavor and leave a comment and tell me the most annoying phrase people use at your office.
Also, please do me a flavor and check out HRM Today, our HRM Today LinkedIn group, and our HRM Today Facebook group. I’m trolling those sites on my very limited Blackberry browser.
Laurie Ruettimann is a punk rock, Human Resources professional with extensive Fortune 500 experience. She offers career advice and writes about business trends, HR, and opting-out of the rat race. You can reach her at punkrockHR @ gmail.
She also believes you should spay & neuter your pets.
 | Jenn Barnes / HR Wen… on Punk Rock HR: Call for Sh… |
 | roolvoel on Punk Rock HR Blog Changes … |
 | Audrey on Punk Rock HR Blog Changes … |
 | Scott on Punk Rock HR Blog Changes … |
 | Laurie on Punk Rock HR Blog Changes … |
 | Amanda on Punk Rock HR Blog Changes … |
 | Jackbuilt on Punk Rock HR Blog Changes … |
 | WilderMiss on Punk Rock HR Blog Changes … |
 | HRUnderling on Punk Rock HR Blog Changes … |
 | Karin on Punk Rock HR Blog Changes … |
Who’s Talking About Me?
Laurie Ruettimann: Team Building is for Suckers and Punk Rock HR is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
Oh, where to begin…
“low hanging fruit” – i.e. do the stuff that’s easy first
“what’s the nut” – our CFO’s favorite when asking for the bottom line.
“rightly so” never in the right place in the sentence. As in “Rightly So, she’s entitled to get her annual review on time” The grammar freak in me dies a little every time I hear it…
Oddly enough, we don’t have a most annoying phrase. We are just strongly encouraged to avoid cursing. This probably shouldn’t bother me…;)
OMG I just let out a honk-snort of unmeasurable decimals when I read that!
A co-worker who is referred to in my blog as DUH used to say that all of the time!
Also used to excess by DUH were “Cool Beans” “Niiiiiiice” and “Right, Right Right”
It’s nice to know I’m not alone.
I have an LJ community for discussion of just these atrocities.
http://community.livejournal.com/stopsayingthat/
“if you will”
“can we take this offline?”
“biobreak”
“think outside the box”
“paradigm shift”
“ROI”
“Low hanging fruit”
“step up to the plate”
“synergize”
“ping me on that”
“strategic planning”
“touch base”
“win win”
“upsell/cross sell”
….I could go on forever…
I work with engineers so there’s very little intentional abuse of the English language in the workplace – they don’t have enough personality to try to make funnies.
Almost all internet-related English abuses make me cringe for the person using them, from “teh” to “ZOMG” to LOLcats language. (No offense L — ) It dates what the person is saying since the memes move so rapidly through and then out.
“can we take this offline?”
“biobreak”
“paradigm shift”
“ROI”
“step up to the plate”
“ping me”
“touch base”
Actual English has been completely discarded in corporate America….
I feel like breaking out in tears everytime I hear the word “process”.
I also have a co-worker that has to start just about every sentence with “I apologize…”.
We have one engineer who has a cliche for every occasion. Of course, he always uses them when they don’t apply. Any time someone has bad news, he says, “Ask me no questions, I’ll tell you no lies.”
Some of his other favorites:
“Ours is not to ask why but to do or die” (he says it every time I want to know why _____ happened)
“If was a rich man…” (when he talks about wanting to quit)
“Going forward…” I feel like we are going backwards half the time.
“Having said that…”
“Move the body or move the ball”
“Hit the ground running”
“Exsqueeze me.” Are we really still dropping phrases from Wayne’s World? It frightens me, it seems telling that the moment that this phrase entered their lexicon, they ceased all development.
“At the end of the day”
“leverage”
“aslo too” – umm a little redundant doncha think?
“basically”
I meant: “also too”
I used to love getting an email from my colleague that went something like this:
“Could you do this dull and only mildly technically-challenging task that by rights I should have to do myself because we’re peers and I don’t really set your workload?
Please and thank you!”
Uh, cutting directly to the thank you really minimizes the asking aspect of the message.
I can’t stand it when someone comes to my door and says, “Question:….” JUST ASK THE QUESTION.
I also hate the word “robust”. I makes me think of a big, fat person eating too much and then exploding.
On the other hand, I love to use slang at work and watch people’s reactions.
For example:
mow grub = eat lunch
damn it feels good to be a gangsta = that person is dressed totally inappropriately for work
play on, playa = keep doing what you’re doing
It’s hilarious.
“Cool Beans”
“I want to know”
“Can you come over here?”
“You got a forwarded call”
These are so bad. My sides hurt from groaning. Thanks for keeping my occupied, today. xxxooo/laurie
I forgot to add, “Be Yourself.”
.
http://www.jakeandamir.com/post/4844801/proverbs
This is for all those people who just don’t even know what they are saying when they say it.
I love Jake and Amir or whateva.
I forgot the phone call to ask if I got their email.
My favorite is a voicemail that says “I just sent you an email – can you call me when you have a minute?” When I go to read the email, it says “I have a question, call me when you get a chance.” If you can wait til I have a “minute” or a “chance” then why the hell did you just waste 5 minutes of your time and another 5 minutes of mine NOT just telling me your question…? Now I have to call you, find out what you need, then inevitably, hang up, research the answer, and get back to you with it. Because if you spent that much time not getting in touch with me, it’s bound to be a complicated, messy question. Either that or, “where do I find the holiday schedule?” or something equally inane!
I apparently seriously suck.
I have certainly used the expression “could you do me a favor” but I more commonly say “I need a favor”
Sorry @Breanne I am guilty of: “can we take this offline?”, “think outside the box”, “ROI”, “touch base”
@nick “Going forward…”
@ robynmcintyre “Hit the ground running”
Oh well. I don’t typically get annoyed by expressions. What burns my britches (I don’t think anyone mentioned that one) is when people yammer on using acronyms when you have a newbie (oops there is another one) in the room with a glazed look on their face and don’t take a moment to explain.
@Corey do you say do me a FAVOR or do me a FLAVOR? There’s a distinct difference. Also, it’s okay to be jargony if you have a sense of humor. If you’re serious and want to be taken seriously because you use jargon, that’s another story.
OK clearly I didn’t have enough coffee. Fairly sure I have never said can you do me a flavor. The other stuff, some of it depends on context and the audience. I can be jargony. Some times its intentionally tongue in cheek other times I’m speaking to an audience in terms the can understand… Often its both
To update the listing:
The Top Ten annoying phrases:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/global/main.jhtml?view=DETAILS&grid=&xml=/global/2008/11/07/noindex/words.xml&source=EMC-exp_07112008